january- cycles

Today I am comforted by the thought of everything in nature having a cycle. As I look around the snowy landscape, I see what could be considered the season of death, yet just under the surface is life waiting to bloom, grow, release and start again. With this acknowledgement, I know change is truly the only constant in life. With every painting, something new is born and that particular creative process dies when I am finished. Sometimes the finishing moment holds a subtle sadness and farewell, as the journey of creation comes to an end. Yet this release is essentially part of the cycle. Just as I know the friend I lost this week to Leukemia, had a beautiful journey of creation… and his masterpiece, this life cycle, is now complete.

It is with deep gratitude that I remember the brushstrokes we created together as teenagers and young adults. He was my first love and first boyfriend. We were a mix of innocence, discovery, perceived invincibility, and playful expression. Our canvases had so much open space, freedom, when we were young and together. Eventually those spaces were filled with life experiences. His canvas filled a little sooner than anyone expected… yet he always drove fast… so I should have known he would finish before me.

I am present to the void his family and friends feel at this moment of completion. Yet, like the winter snow, just under the surface, life is waiting to bloom with his inspiration. Feeling his presence, I am inspired to bloom again. I am inspired to grow again with the playful freedom we once felt together. I honor our time together, the brushstrokes we created together, by committing his presence to my heart. My heart swells with innocent playful love again. He is still creating…

Thank you, Chad, for allowing me to be a small part of your masterpiece, and for cycling again through mine. Your latest brushstrokes have, once again, changed my canvas forever.