May seems to be flying by…. The days barely registering. As I rode in the taxi from the Dallas airport to my hotel (I am here for a show), I felt a new awareness. The long stretch of freeway with traffic at 3:30 pm, seemed to sum up the month so far. When I closed my eyes I saw a rich burnt yellow that brought me to the painting I finished earlier this month, Saffron…the color of enrichment.” Looking into this color I see a translucent paradox.
The long stretch of flat, seemingly endless, freeway clad with other drivers, all with their own agendas, carries me to my destination. I am here to do what I do… Show my art and meet the people who appreciate it. I have my own agenda that somehow crosses with other peoples agendas at the right time, like exiting the freeway at the same exit. Sometimes I wonder why certain people come into my life at specific times. Perhaps it’s that simple… We were drawn to the same exit for individual reasons and here we are. ‘Like attracts like’ is a beautifully simple explanation yet I am aware of something else as the wheels literally turn. Creation and creativity are in motion. This is when I see the color saffron. Saffron reminds me of the Buddhist monks robes in Thailand and a very special guru’s silk that I had the privilege to iron in India several years ago. This color is divine creation to me. I can feel its vibration even in the tube before it goes on the palette. It is bright, rich, and pure… Warm and translucent… Like the last sight of the sun before it sets, the color lingers in every one of my cells. This is the warm feeling that has changed my life. This is the vibration I trust… In a way, this is my motor. I rely on it to take me where I need to be.
My motor is creativity. Creativity not just in the sense of my art or even the way I approach life… In the sense of the energy of creation, why we are alive…What drives us in various directions, to take various exits, cross various paths. There seems to be a very creative hidden road map somewhere deep inside of me that I am following. My life moving forward is fueled by desire. The desire to experience why I am alive. When I painted ‘Saffron’ I felt an enormous amount of desire, as if I wanted to chase the last rays of light; I would have run for miles if I thought I could grab it… I wanted to capture that feeling! The paradox is that feeling is the motion of life itself, so it never stays in the same place and can never be contained. That light can be experienced, felt and even painted but it is not tangible; only its memory exists in the past and future, as well as in my paintings. So at this point I laugh because this road I think I have chosen, all the choices I have made so far in my life, all the desires I have chased, have been just a product of that momentum. Looking out the window I see the life I have created passing by and the road ahead continuously moving toward me. I am aware that the present moment is me. I am this light I chase. We all are.