Turquoise is an enigma to me in many ways. Various people have told me the color and stone hold healing powers. I know the stone comes from the earth yet its color is that of water without the clarity. I want to see through it, yet it stays mysteriously cloudy as if its powers are held deep within the milky waves. On a whim, I purchased a tube of turquoise paint more out of curiosity than need. I have made the color with blues and yellows and created the color on accident with layers, yet I was curious if the tube held the actual pigment from the stone. Yes, some tubes do. The color turquoise can be interpreted many ways, with references to a peacock or water in the Bahamas, although the stone’s hue has a slightly different feeling. I’m going to attribute the difference to the saturation and opacity of this color, or vibration. The stone is condensed. The color straight from the tube has the same condensed quality.
I immediately found out that the tube of turquoise paint does not mix will with other colors. If it were a child I would say it is a bully. It is dominant and opaque, allowing no light to pass through. Other colors merely muddy it. It makes an okay glaze yet it complains that it looks weak. It accents and compliments orange and reds, yet it must be the focal point. The color is strong.
I have felt the influence of a similar energy this month. I have been bullied by the biggest bully of all, myself or my mind. My mind has pulled me to work when I need to give my children attention. My mind has pulled me with limited time when I just need to slow down or rest. My mind has pulled me with drama when I need to stay focused. This month I have been tripped and laughed at by my inner bully and while I was pushed up against the wall I saw a message staring me in the face, up close and personal. I got the message. The message is as strong as turquoise and as it turns out, quite healing.
The message: My life has a purpose and it is simply to align with my soul; my soul has a purpose and it is simply to experience this life. This message is a simple circular nugget that my mind has a hard time grasping, because like turquoise, it is mysteriously opaque. I will never be able to see through this life with my mind and yes… this purpose is stronger than my mind when my ego can admit it. However, when my mind takes the drivers seat with thoughts of, “work harder, there’s not enough time, it’s their fault, etc” it derails my soul. I become tired, resentful, judgmental and unfortunately for me, punished with a massive speeding ticket on my way back from Santa Fe. Ouch. This is my inner bully testing me. It shakes me, Wake up! What is really important? What is dominant in my life? What supports all the other colors in my life? I have a choice to listen to my ego driven mind and try to keep up with the bully or… maybe choose the bigger picture that my life is painting on its own. I can allow my life to unfold without pushing it.
And Laugh. I choose to laugh at myself. I laugh at what I can create in my mind. I am an artist on many levels! I laugh because laughter heals my bruised ego. Laughter seduces my inner bully with its pure enchanting foolishness and once again I am aligned with the “real” me.