yellow

I am drawn to yellow lately.Its primary happiness dances in and out of my paintings. Even in the most intense creations, yellow sparks a light smile. I see yellow as sunlight. I see yellow as spring daffodils, promising a new beauty with the coming season. I see yellow as a wake up call that I answer with anticipation. A new awareness shines through yellow’s bright rays of light. Like the sun, yellow reminds me to shine with all that I am, unconditionally.

To me, happiness seems to be intrinsic or a birthright. Yes, it gets lost in the clouds of circumstances and choices, however, even in the darkest moments the possibility of happiness waits patiently to be recognized. People say it’s easy to be happy when you have it all and life is going as expected or even better than expected, yet then happiness would be conditional. Are there conditions for happiness or is there such a thing as unconditional happiness? In moments of inexplicable happiness or laughing fits, I wonder where this happiness comes from. It sneaks up and ignores its surroundings and conditions. I see babies laugh like this because they don’t know any better. Which makes me think happiness is natural. I’m not sure where the idea comes from that we need to have something to be happy “about”. Like happiness needs a container with a label on it. Then I can put it on a shelf and save it? I don’t think that works. It would be great if this bottled happiness got better with age on a shelf like wine and I could have a glass when I really want it or give a bottle to a friend in need. Alas, I think it expires if not enjoyed immediately. Also, happiness certainly does not seem to like to be contained. It wants to be free, enjoyed and dispersed without patience. It infiltrates like a virus and spreads, but sometimes it seems we become immune to it. Sometimes we resist it because we think we don’t deserve it or it’s not appropriate because there is nothing to be happy about. Still it looms, floating around until there is an opening…

Like the sun, happiness shines. A happy person glows from within, rays of light shining through their eyes, contaminating the conditional world. Infecting everything and everyone without discernment. Happiness has no couth. It has no sense of right or wrong and it has no manners. It just shines indiscriminately waiting to be welcomed, and if not welcomed, it waits for a moment when the guard is off duty and it can sneak in. Like a burglar it will steal a moment without the slightest warning… and sign a ransom note with one of those ridiculous little yellow smiley faces.