The fresh crisp vibrancy of almost neon green keeps appearing on my palette this month. It doesn’t take much of this color to change a painting completely. The smallest dab is like plugging the painting into an electrical outlet. I have noticed I either love it or hate it, yet either way it is appearing on my paintings. Surprisingly, it is almost always brighter than I think it is on my palette and I still go for it. I’m not sure when I mixed it or how I made the color… I really don’t remember doing it. So when wondering what I was going to write about this month… I am equally as surprised.
Like this never ending wondrous apple green keeps popping up, so have some issues within myself. (I do not remember creating them either.) What may have been a subtle reminder at some point became a neon green sign blinking in my face this month. This apple green really has my attention. The funny thing is, this neon sign was blinking a message from my heart, not my mind… Like SOS in morse code. So to stop and listen to it was not on my usual to-do list. More importantly, it was something that needed to be felt, rather than understood. Which meant I needed to quiet my mind, and be willing to accept whatever emerged from my heart. Sometimes this is daunting… I have learned that these messages are not always what my mind wants to hear, and often change the course of where I thought my life was headed.
Painting, meditation and running are my preferred vehicles for travel with-in, or for a road trip to my heart. In those moments, my mind wonders off and the path to my heart becomes crystal clear as the hum of unconditional, ever-present love seduces me… to the center. It was here, in the brightest light of my heart, that I noticed the blink. I wasn’t expecting the blink. The neon sign… was struggling. Blinking. Then I realized the blinks are the little issues that get in the way of this bright love; for example, my ego, my expired thought patterns, old and tired experiences, moldy memories, etc. My sign needed a little maintenance. I had somehow neglected my own electrical cords or maybe it was just time for an upgrade. So I took a look and did some rewiring and cleaning. I let go of what I can now see as expectations of what I thought love would look like. I took a good look at my perception of others, recognizing their faults as my own. I took ownership of the blink and removed the darkness, by merely shining a light and looking at it. The message in my heart was just a simple call for maintenance this time. Luckily, the work was covered under my warrantee of trust. Trust that what was outdated is no longer needed, and what is now shining brighter than ever before is ready to be seen.