may-presence
Today is my birthday and as I reflect on the last month to write this blog, I see a complete painting. I am reminded of the moment I walked away from seeing the Sistine Chapel for the first time. I am overwhelmed, bewildered and inspired. The last month has held a lifetime of memories and bittersweet endings. There have been times when I have seen a piece of art and it has moved me beyond reaction, beyond return to my previous state of awareness. The art has changed me forever. At this moment, I see the importance of a lasting impression.
The last impression of a painting is something I rarely think about when I paint, yet when I view art the imprint left in my memory is what gives the art everlasting presence. Especially when the art is something I may not see again. Being in a state of full awareness or being fully present without distraction is what allows the imprint. Taking it all in, I can walk away with a full experience.
I see the importance of thinking ahead and having an intention for the future, yet often times I move so quickly from one thing to the next, just to get through it, that I am not fully present. My mind races constantly to the next thing. My life has been on the fast track this month with my daughter’s graduation and moving. As I am in full speed to get things done, I remember being shuffled through the Sistine Chapel and wishing I could just get out of the moving river of people and find a quiet eddy to take it all in. I feel the same at this moment, so I am taking a moment to commit this experience of my life evolving to my memory and allow it to imprint. I know I will never go back to this moment; it is yet another brushstroke on my masterpiece of life. I give myself the birthday present of allowing my self to be present with the changes in my life and feel the overwhelming beauty of something much larger than I can possibly fathom. Perhaps when I revisit the memory of this moment, I will feel as I do about the the Sistine Chapel… Grateful for its lasting impression and eternal presence in my memory.
